We celebrate a lot of different people in this country: athletes, entertainers, business tycoons—essentially the rich and famous. Carolyn Ashworth, development officer of Asheville’s Eliada Foundation, says that foster families are the real heroes.

“We honor the wrong people,” Carolyn says. “Foster families deserve our highest praise and support.”

Those families were honored November 12 at the Foster/Adopt Fall Festival held at the Crowne Plaza in Asheville, one of many outreach tools supported by the Buncombe County Department of Social Services to educate the community about the need for foster families and forever families for children in care. One Buncombe County licensed foster parent said of the event, “It was a real eye-opener. I didn’t realize how many children are in the foster care system. I feel as if I have made the right choice by being a foster parent.” Not everyone, though, is cut out to take on a foster child.

“A lot is expected of our foster families,” says Jessica Shanor, a foster care recruiter/trainer for Eliada (pronounced ah-LIE-da), a nonprofit agency offering several programs to serve the children and families of Western North Carolina. Jessica says she looks for potential foster families that have a lot of skill sets. She adds that they need to be patient, flexible, and have emotional and financial stability. They don’t, however, have to be perfect.

“Maybe someone who was an alcoholic 20 years ago thinks they could never be a foster parent,” says Jessica. “That may not be true, and they might be a great candidate.” Jessica talks to prospective foster parents about the trials in their lives and how they overcame them. The foster program at Eliada looks at people with different backgrounds, experiences, and strengths, and then it tries to make the best matches that will ultimately minimize moves for the child.

As of the end of last October, Buncombe County had approximately 90 foster homes. At that same time, the Buncombe County Department of Social Services (DSS) had about 200 children in care. The kids come from a variety of backgrounds and circumstances. About 56 percent were male, 44 percent female. Nearly 42 percent are 5 years old or under, 25 percent are between the ages of 6 and 12, and 27 percent are kids 13 to 17. About 63 percent are Caucasian, about 17 percent are African American, and the other 20 percent make up a variety of other races and ethnicities.

Buncombe County Recruiting Specialist Betsy Manning says Buncombe County DSS works in partnership with the family and those who support the family in all capacities in an effort to help children exit foster care as quickly and safely as possible. “Children need caring, stable adults in their lives during this process.” Betsy says. “Nurturing, skilled foster parents are invaluable resources and critical to successful outcomes for children.”

While Western North Carolina offers an array of foster programs, the one at Eliada is broken into two main components. Eliada’s Family Foster Care Program is designed to provide foster homes for children who must temporarily live away from their families. Family Foster parents provide care for children in DSS custody.

Eliada’s Therapeutic Foster Care Program is a temporary inhome residential treatment option for children who meet certain criteria, typically those who have diagnosed mental health issues. Therapeutic Foster Parents are highly skilled individuals or couples who provide treatment to help meet the diverse needs of children in their care. The foster parents work with a team possibly including the birth parents, social workers, teachers, and others to work on a treatment plan.

One way potential foster parents can get a feel for the responsibilities involved is through a program called Community Respite. This service is provided for foster parents or custodians who need periodic relief from the constant and often stressful care of their child. Jessica says this is usually for a weekend or sometimes a bit longer. “It gives current foster families a break,” she says, “and is a great way for a potential long-term foster parent to put their toe in and test the water.”

Foster recruiters, such as Betsy for Buncombe County and Jessica for Eliada, emphasize that foster parents go through an extensive training and screening process before being licensed and a child is placed in their care. Jessica says the training offered by Eliada has been honed over decades and tries to eliminate fears that potential foster families might have.

“Many people say ‘I have a lot of love to give,’ and that’s great, but you need a lot more than that,” Jessica says. “These kids are here because of severe neglect or abuse. It can be an intense situation. We try to prepare potential foster parents the best we can, but in the end it’s a puzzle without a box. Every situation is different and you just have to do what seems to make sense.”

Eliada and all foster programs in the area always need more volunteer parents. Jessica says the rewards are immense. “The biggest treasure of foster care is the hope to change a life,” Jessica says. But foster programs can use other kinds of assistance, too

Eliada’s Carolyn Ashworth says foster families can use support. While families have months to prepare for a baby’s arrival, foster families typically get no more than a couple weeks of advance notice before receiving a child. “If you know a foster family, offer to mow their lawn or cook them a meal,” says Carolyn. She also adds that foster programs can use goods such as luggage or schools supplies.

“We would love to hear from business owners who could offer goods or services for a welcome package or discount card for foster parents,” Carolyn says. “Not everyone can be a foster parent, but everyone can do something.”

To find out more about Eliada’s programs, visit eliada.org, call 828.254.5356 or email info@eliada.org. To learn more about foster care, call Buncombe County recruitment specialist Betsy Manning at 828.250.5868 or email familiesforkids@buncombecounty.com.